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<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nSince we\u2019re all part of the body of Christ, shouldn\u2019t we always get along with each other perfectly and just sort of float around on Sunday mornings on little clouds of Shekinah glory? If this is the case at your church, email me, because I want a piece of that. But for us here on Earth, this is generally not the case. And because this isn\u2019t the case, we need to know how to be an active part of God\u2019s restoration work in making broken things whole. Starting with our relationships with our brothers and sisters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But before I set out the most crucial steps in the process, I have to lay the foundation for everything else I\u2019m about to say, which is this: You must <\/em>be rooted in your identity in Jesus Christ.<\/strong> If you don\u2019t start with a firm grasp on that, finding reconciliation is like finding your way home with a compass that always points back at you. You have to know that God is our Dad<\/em>. That He has been in love with every part of us since the beginning of time. That He paid in blood, sweat, and tears so that He could get His family back from the murderer who stole us away. You have to understand that Dad already won the fight. But you\u2019re still pretty messed up from all that time you spent getting lied to and beaten up before Dad got you back. And your brothers and sisters are still pretty messed up, too. But you\u2019re back with Dad now. You don\u2019t have to live like you\u2019re still out in the cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you know that, you\u2019re ready to tackle step 1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Contrary to what our initial impulse is, we have to remember that we are not in the business of making broken things whole or healing the deep hurts of the soul. Dad has to be the one to do that. Your role is to tear down all the barriers of pain or resentment that you put in their path, then step back as Dad sits down beside them and helps them start picking up the pieces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve never really understood what people mean when they say, \u201cPrayer is a conversation, not a monologue,\u201d now is the time to find out. Most of us approach prayer like we do a diary. But here\u2019s the thing: you\u2019re not journaling. You\u2019re talking to your Dad. He\u2019s sitting quietly on the couch in front of the warm fireplace, sipping a cup of steaming hot chocolate. He looks up at you and smiles. He just so happens to have a second cup next to him, just waiting for a certain someone. So wander over to the couch, plop down next to Dad, and talk to Him. Tell Him what\u2019s going on in His favorite kid\u2019s life. He already knows, but He likes to hear it from you anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No apology, no reconciliation. Pretty simple. But go one step further: be the first<\/em> to apologize, rather than wait for the other person to own up to their part first. Fact: it takes two people to mess up a relationship. It takes three to mend it. You can\u2019t help Dad break down the roadblocks of hurt and resentment that you\u2019ve built up (intentionally or unknowingly) while insisting you didn\u2019t do anything wrong. You\u2019re going to have to be vulnerable. You\u2019re going to be uncomfortable. But don\u2019t push away. Don\u2019t use half-apologies to avoid the heart of the issue. Own your actions. Matthew 5:23<\/a> (NIV) says, \u201cTherefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with them; then come and offer your gift.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes, mending a broken relationship is as simple as giving out that apology, and the two of you can start fresh. But more often, it is a process that takes time, effort, and a tenacious will to engage in uncomfortable conversations. If you\u2019re going to do this well, make it your business to seek out wise men and women that love Christ and embody wisdom and discernment, and ask if you can have their ongoing support and guidance as you work through some tough times. If you don\u2019t really have someone in a mentor role in your life, it\u2019s not as intimidating as it sounds. Essentially it\u2019s as easy as finding someone in your church you want to be like, and spending time with him or her. Ask him questions. Soak up the wisdom that she gives you. Look closely at his thoughts and life patterns, and if that lines up with biblical truth, adopt them into yours. But be careful here\u2014if you\u2019re not completely gut-level honest with the people you invite to speak into your life (and with yourself) and serious about following their guidance, their input is pointless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are some relationships so broken that even after a long season of prayer, earnest pleas for forgiveness, and acting on wise advice, there are barriers that can\u2019t be torn down by human hands. Once you\u2019ve set aside every barrier you possibly can, it\u2019s time to take a few steps back and ask Dad to step in and be Dad. A word of warning: This is a step that should not be taken without the utmost earnestness of prayer and an abundance of wise counsel; it will often be perceived as a fresh wound of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay. Take a deep breath, we made it through. You all right? I know that was pretty heavy. Breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends, there is no more direct road to sanctification than active reconciliation. It\u2019s tough. It\u2019s messy. But walking into the process of reconciliation with hands and heart wide open will allow God to hunt down and destroy the strongholds of pride and pain in your life. He\u2019s Dad. He loves us outrageously, completely, and without restraint. And He knows how much we hurt ourselves and everyone around us when we clench our fists so tightly around our pride and our hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But don\u2019t worry. Dad\u2019s pretty good with fixing this kind of stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Speak <\/strong>the truth to yourself about who you are in Jesus Christ every day. You can start by reading Ephesians 1:3-14<\/a>, which shares affirmation that as a child of God you are blessed, chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, loved, and so much more.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n As you consider your next steps for healing in broken relationships, do you first know how deeply the Lord loves and cares for you? Jesus even said, \u201cAs the Father has loved me, so have I loved you\u201d John 15:9 (NIV). Download this free resource, \u201cPraying the Promises of God: Pleading with God,\u201d and carry these promises of God\u2019s love and care for you throughout your day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n5 Steps to Reconciling a Broken Relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 1: Know, without doubt or reservation, that you<\/em> can do nothing to repair the brokenness in the other person\u2019s heart.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Step 2: Pray hard and listen carefully.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Step 3: Apologize.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Step 4: Surround yourself with wisdom and godly advice.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Step 5: Know that in some cases, the most necessary thing to do is step away.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Discipleship Tip: <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nFree Resource: Praying the Promises of God<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n